Radical Eros

A year and a half ago, I wrote to you from this same terminal. Terminal M at Vancouver International Airport. You can read that letter in the archives. It was my second time writing from this departure gate in four years, and somehow, it's become a ritual. A rite of passage. This is where I leave for Peru—a place that holds my deepest healing, my most sacred transformations. In four days, I'll be walking through this terminal again. But this time feels different. What's Changed Since Last...

It's Saturday morning. Rain hammers my window on the wet coast. Wind tears through the trees. A bald eagle hovers outside, suspended in the storm, completely still in the chaos. I'm feeling my wound extra big this week. My biggest wound is that I'm never enough. That no matter what I do, I'll never be enough. I've done the work around this. Years of it. I've invested every dollar I've ever made into my own healing. Not counting, but if I'd kept all that money, I'd have enough for a down...

Reader, “You say that you are sometimes experiencing the great silence and immensity of being, and you would like to always be in that experience. But the truth is you are the great silence and immensity of being in whose vastness the sense of someone dreaming about discovering and remaining in the immensity of being is appearing.” — Mooji, White Fire. Today, I'm going to share with you about Ho’oponopono, a Hawaiian spiritual practice of reconciliation and forgiveness that will crack you...

Reader, From one sunset to another. Another year around the sun. I turned 37 three days ago, in the South Chilcotin Mountains of British Columbia with 12 centimeters of snow on the ground, 1400 grams of pemmican in my pack as the only food source, and with no idea of what I was doing. Nine days. No tent. No modern camping gear. Just a blanket pack and four other people who actually knew how to survive in the wild. I was the new guy. The imposter. The one who didn't belong. And it was my...

Reader, We're in the final stage before collapse. And it's not what you think. In his research on "The Changing World Order," Ray Dalio identified the cyclical nature of how empires rise and fall. Not through dramatic external conquests, but through predictable internal deterioration. Six stages that repeat like clockwork across centuries: New Order Emerges (post-war reconstruction) Peace and Prosperity (economic boom, innovation) Financial Strain (debt accumulation, overextension) Internal...

Reader, It's Tuesday morning. I'm sitting across from David, a successful architect who hasn't cried in fifteen years. "I know exactly why I'm afraid of intimacy," he tells me. "My father was emotionally unavailable. My mother was controlling. I have avoidant attachment patterns. I've read all the books." He says this like he's reading a grocery list. "So you understand it," I say. "How's that working for you?" His jaw tightens. "It's not. I keep dating the same type of woman. I keep pulling...

healing the unconventional, natural way Reader, Sacred Valley, Peru - In the middle of the night some day in July 2022 I'm awake again. The altitude does that - wakes you up right when the mountain spirits are having their conversations. But tonight it's not just the thin air keeping me conscious. It's the memory of sitting in that sterile office six months ago, fluorescent lights buzzing overhead, while a man in a white coat looked at my lab results and delivered what he believed was an...

Reader, I wrote this at 4 AM this morning. I couldn't sleep. There's this energy moving through me - part terror, part excitement - as I finalize the details for Peru. Wilderness Vigil. Sacred Valley. 12,000 feet above sea level. Three days alone with nothing but your thoughts and whatever truth you've been running from. I need to tell you something I've never admitted publicly: I'm scared every single time I do this work. Not of the mountain or the weather or the logistics. I'm scared of...

Reader, There's a wound so deep in the collective that most of us don't even know that we're bleeding. It's the wound of separation. The lie that you are alone. Cut off. An isolated fragment spinning through a hostile universe, fighting for survival, love, and meaning. This is spiritual exile. And it destroys our capacity to love, lead, and live fully. The Great Forgetting Somewhere along the way, we forgot the most fundamental truth of existence. We bought into the story that we are separate...

Reader, I'm returning from a deep, potent tree diet with my brother Jordan Mockingbird. There were 9 people in total, and I'm still integrating back into society. I'll share more about that journey as I integrate that more. I wanted to share today about emotions, and the importance of feeling it, and also moving through it. I hope you enjoy. I am a deeply emotional man, and it's taken me a while to understand the underlying message behind my emotions. Emotions are initiations. Each one a...